Monday, April 26, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Name Recognition Vs. Knowledge: Popularity and The Political Process
There are two subjects that I almost always shy away from debating…Religion and Politics. There is rarely a winner in such debates and the discussions are often fueled by fiery emotions.
Recently I attended a luncheon for an advisory board that I sit on where the topic of discussion became Detroit politics. I was the only Detroit resident in the room and I simply sat by quietly and took notes.
Sadly, it seemed that the rest of the non-Detroit residents were far more versed than I on the subject. This leads directly to the point of this blog…Do we tend to vote based on name recognition and popularity or the knowledge and experience of the candidates?
I’ve heard more than two people say that if Kwame Kilpatrick ran for Mayor again tomorrow..He would probably still win or at least get a ton of votes.
There are many factors that contribute to the success of campaigns that have little to do with the experience and knowledge of the candidate. These factors include the message, the money and the mindset.
The message is how the candidate and the press package and sell their product. It’s those things that they promise, their platform and what often determines their popularity.
Before we, the people, can even get the message, there must be money. Where there is more money, there is a better chance of that candidate not only making sure that their message is heard loud and clear, but I’m sure that campaigns who raise the most money have a direct correlation to candidates that win.
Even beyond the message and the money is the mindset of the people. The voters often lack the knowledge of not only the track record and experience of the candidates, but also the political process in general. We are finally beginning to get out and do what our ancestors fought and died to get the rights for, but we still have more work to do. We not must only make sure that we are educated but we must hold ourselves accountable for educating others.
These are just my thoughts….you take it from here.
Recently I attended a luncheon for an advisory board that I sit on where the topic of discussion became Detroit politics. I was the only Detroit resident in the room and I simply sat by quietly and took notes.
Sadly, it seemed that the rest of the non-Detroit residents were far more versed than I on the subject. This leads directly to the point of this blog…Do we tend to vote based on name recognition and popularity or the knowledge and experience of the candidates?
I’ve heard more than two people say that if Kwame Kilpatrick ran for Mayor again tomorrow..He would probably still win or at least get a ton of votes.
There are many factors that contribute to the success of campaigns that have little to do with the experience and knowledge of the candidate. These factors include the message, the money and the mindset.
The message is how the candidate and the press package and sell their product. It’s those things that they promise, their platform and what often determines their popularity.
Before we, the people, can even get the message, there must be money. Where there is more money, there is a better chance of that candidate not only making sure that their message is heard loud and clear, but I’m sure that campaigns who raise the most money have a direct correlation to candidates that win.
Even beyond the message and the money is the mindset of the people. The voters often lack the knowledge of not only the track record and experience of the candidates, but also the political process in general. We are finally beginning to get out and do what our ancestors fought and died to get the rights for, but we still have more work to do. We not must only make sure that we are educated but we must hold ourselves accountable for educating others.
These are just my thoughts….you take it from here.
Monday, April 12, 2010
He's Just Not That Into You: Our Point of View
Those of you that know me well know that I love to write and talk about love, relationships and men. This past weekend my girlfriends and I got together and had a dialogue with some gentlemen on several related subjects. The question was posed, “How do you know when a guy is just not that into you?” There’s already been a book and a movie released on the subject, but we wanted to hear it straight from the mouths of the type of men that we encounter every day. Here is what they had to say…
A man is just not that into you if…
1. He doesn’t call or text you. Of course, men who have careers or are involved with their community may very well be busy. But the truth of the matter is that everyone usually makes time for what or who they are interested in, no matter how busy their schedule is.
2. You are a 7 or higher and he still doesn’t make time for you. We usually rate people on a scale of 1 to 10 based upon looks, personality and an array of other factors, with 10 being the highest score. Thus, anything in the range of 7 or higher is quite favorable. So the point here is that if you’ve got it going on and he STILL doesn’t make you a priority…He’s just not that into you.
3. Excuses. This one is rather self explanatory. If he’s constantly making excuses as to why he cannot spend time with you…He’s just not that into you.
4. He doesn’t return your calls or text messages within thirty minutes to an hour. This is a tricky one because I know that there are times when a man may be in a meeting, or performing on stage, or doing something that lasts longer than an hour where they may not be able to get away to return your call. But for the most part, if his failure to return your call or text within that time frame happens more often than not…He’s just not that into you.
5. He does not ask about or is not concerned about your personal life. When someone is interested in you, it is also extremely highly likely that they are interested in the things that are going on with your life. Things such as your career, your family, how you are feeling, what you are doing and the like. If he never asks questions about your personal life, or shows little to no interest when you share things about yourself…He’s just not that into you.
These five points are based upon the opinions of those that were involved in the conversation, but you must admit that overall, they make a whole lot of sense. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the existing points or other red flags that you’d like to add to this list. We will discuss what to do (and what not to do) when he’s just not that into you in a follow up blog.
A man is just not that into you if…
1. He doesn’t call or text you. Of course, men who have careers or are involved with their community may very well be busy. But the truth of the matter is that everyone usually makes time for what or who they are interested in, no matter how busy their schedule is.
2. You are a 7 or higher and he still doesn’t make time for you. We usually rate people on a scale of 1 to 10 based upon looks, personality and an array of other factors, with 10 being the highest score. Thus, anything in the range of 7 or higher is quite favorable. So the point here is that if you’ve got it going on and he STILL doesn’t make you a priority…He’s just not that into you.
3. Excuses. This one is rather self explanatory. If he’s constantly making excuses as to why he cannot spend time with you…He’s just not that into you.
4. He doesn’t return your calls or text messages within thirty minutes to an hour. This is a tricky one because I know that there are times when a man may be in a meeting, or performing on stage, or doing something that lasts longer than an hour where they may not be able to get away to return your call. But for the most part, if his failure to return your call or text within that time frame happens more often than not…He’s just not that into you.
5. He does not ask about or is not concerned about your personal life. When someone is interested in you, it is also extremely highly likely that they are interested in the things that are going on with your life. Things such as your career, your family, how you are feeling, what you are doing and the like. If he never asks questions about your personal life, or shows little to no interest when you share things about yourself…He’s just not that into you.
These five points are based upon the opinions of those that were involved in the conversation, but you must admit that overall, they make a whole lot of sense. I’d love to hear your thoughts about the existing points or other red flags that you’d like to add to this list. We will discuss what to do (and what not to do) when he’s just not that into you in a follow up blog.
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Power Couple
In this day and age where the divorce rate is high and the chances of finding that one true love seem to be low, the power couple still prevails. What does it take to be a power couple? Who comes to mind?
Our President and First Lady are definitely the poster children for the perfect power couple. Each of them has created their own solid presence as individuals yet they are an even stronger brand as a team. With any team that has been dubbed a power couple, autonomy is key. Autonomy is defined as a strong sense of self or independence. For instance, if my man is often known and referred to as, Monica Marie Jones' boyfriend then that relationship would not be what I consider as power couple. Each party in the couple should have a distinct and unique identity of their own.
Another component to being a successful power couple is to be intentional about planning for quality time in the midst of the cooperative hustle and grind. A power couple must know how to have a balance between romance and business. Even President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama have a specified date night as well as an alternate night if the scheduled night has to be missed for any reason.
Next, an ideal power couple must have the capacity for what actors and actresses refer to as give and take. This means that they complement one another perfectly. One party should have strengths in areas that prove to be a challenge for the other.
When it comes to the woman in the relationship a phrase that is often used in hip hop culture comes to mind. “A ride or die chick”. This essentially means that the woman supports her man and has his back no matter what.
On the flip side, Destiny's Child said it best when they sung, "I need a soldier, someone who can stand up for me…" I might speak for myself when I say that I love a man that makes me feel protected, taken care of and that would go to war for me if need be, but I'm sure that there are many other women out there that would agree.
There are countless other traits and characteristics that define a modern day power couple, but autonomy, give and take, intentionally planning for quality time in the midst of the cooperative hustle and being that ride or die chick or that soldier are pertinent. What do you think it takes to make the perfect power couple?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Emotional Exploration
What do you consider as cheating on your mate? A kiss or other physical act shared with someone else is usually the first thing that comes to mind. But what about your significant other connecting with another person on a deeper level? Is that acceptable as long as they don't sleep with someone else?
What would you rather: another man or woman having your spouse or partner's body... or their heart?
Emotional exploration is a term that I heard used on my favorite station, Oprah Radio. It’s the idea that although one may not be stepping out physically they are instead making a connection to someone else emotionally.
You open yourself up to emotional exploration when you spend quality time, usually in the form of in depth conversation, forming a bond that is beyond friendship which hovers in the realm of attraction.
Society as a whole has become so desensitized to the act of sex that often times it holds no sacred or sentimental value. Hence when a man or woman cheats and says, "It was just sex, she (or he) didn't mean anything to me." They probably really mean it.
So now it seems that the real trouble lies in your lover making that deeper connection with another.
What do you consider cheating? What would you choose…physical deception or emotional exploration?
What would you rather: another man or woman having your spouse or partner's body... or their heart?
Emotional exploration is a term that I heard used on my favorite station, Oprah Radio. It’s the idea that although one may not be stepping out physically they are instead making a connection to someone else emotionally.
You open yourself up to emotional exploration when you spend quality time, usually in the form of in depth conversation, forming a bond that is beyond friendship which hovers in the realm of attraction.
Society as a whole has become so desensitized to the act of sex that often times it holds no sacred or sentimental value. Hence when a man or woman cheats and says, "It was just sex, she (or he) didn't mean anything to me." They probably really mean it.
So now it seems that the real trouble lies in your lover making that deeper connection with another.
What do you consider cheating? What would you choose…physical deception or emotional exploration?
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