There is power in hair. All my life, I've wanted long hair. Perhaps I was socialized to believe that long hair would make me pretty. I remember being young and draping a towel over my head pretending like it was long flowing tresses. I started out with long thick hair as a little girl, but once I got a perm at the age of 7, everything went down hill from there. Then I got a hold of an electric curling iron and further damaged my hair.
Once I began swimming in middle school, the chlorine caused it all to fall out. In college I tried Debbie Allen's "Copa" product (which people later sued her for), which was supposed to be all natural, but my hair fell out once again...then later in college when I took on a full load of classes, three jobs, and five extra curricular activities, it broke of from stress.
After reading several books about coming out of a perm and wearing my natural hair, I finally got it right in my early twenties. My hair was long, thick, healthy and flowing down my back. Then in my early thirties, stress, or love, or trying to be cute and sleeping without wrapping my hair up caused my hair to do things that I had never experienced before. I noticed it thinning, then next thing a knew, I had a CLEAN BALD patch on the top left side of my head that I tried to hide with different styles for months, but pretty soon I had to get a full sew in weave to hide my bald spot and my bruised self-esteem.
Since then, the hair has grown back, but it still has never been the same. SO for my 34th birthday, I decided to do something different. I had reached a cross roads in my life and decided that it was time for some major changes. Time to let go of some things. My attachment to my hair was one of those things. SO I decided to cut it. Something that was unheard of for me in the past because I was always so obsessed with wearing it long and trying to will it to grow.
Soooooo.....I finally went through with it. The BIG Chop! And I must say, that it was quite liberating and I feel like it was symbolic of my transition from being a young woman to a grown woman.
I plan to let it grow back out, but sometimes in order for something to be healthy...and truly grow...you have to let it go.