Boundaries

Space can be a beautiful thing.

 
I'm sitting here in a small room in Louisville. I am alone so I am forced to face myself. I have been thinking and praying and reading and writing. It has only been a week, but I have already begun to process through so many feelings and emotions that I could once easily ignore with all of the distractions at home.

 

Tonight I am studying boundaries. I have come to the realization that giving too much has burned me out. So I am trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries again. The timing is just right because I am in a major period of transition. My relationships are changing, responsibilities are ending, and I am challenging myself to more intentionally focus on me.  Someone that has recently become near and dear to me brought to my attention that I often help others at the expense of myself, and it shows. Having someone that is willing to tell you the truth with love is priceless.

So in my reading tonight I came across a passage that was just confirmation of something that I heard in a totally unrelated podcast that I listened to while walking by the water this past summer. It read,

 

"Sometimes physically removing yourself from a situation will help maintain boundaries. You can replenish physically, emotionally, and spiritually after you have given to your limit, as Jesus often did." 

 

Day by day, the longer I am here...I feel that happening slowly but surely. Later in the text I read,

"The Bible urges us to separate from those who continue to hurt us and to create a safe space for ourselves. Removing yourself from the situation will also cause the one who is left behind to experience a loss of fellowship that may lead to changed behavior."

 

Wow.

 

There are so many thing that I've held inside of me, that are still patiently waiting to be processed through my writing. Things that I've held on to since 2008. So now, slowly but surely, I will pour it onto the page.

 

Welcome to my inner world.

 

Most Sincerely

 

Just Me...Monica Marie 

 

Rejection Reloaded

"I'm and artist and I'm sensitive about my - - - -"  - Erykah Badu

I’m pretty darn confident.   But every now and then I get a pretty hard blow that darn near knocks me off my little personal pedestal.  This past summer I made the decision to pitch my latest self-published novel, “Swag” to a few major publishers.  I really believed in the work and felt that I had grown quite a bit as a writer since the last book that I released (“Floss”).  

The first correspondence that I got from one of the publishers was favorable.  They were interested in my work and requested for me to send the entire manuscript.  That felt good.  Then, two of the other publishers sent me rejection letters within a week of one another.  The first one was cool, because they said my book wasn’t a fit for what they were looking for and they sent some amazing resources to help me improve my writing skills.  The last one that I received said that my writing wasn’t strong enough.  That stung.  

I love and welcome honest feedback, whether it’s good or bad, but that made me start to wonder, is writing books, really what I am supposed to be doing?  It made me second guess myself, which I don’t do often.  I mean, I absolutely love all things that have anything to do with reading, books and words, but does that mean that I am supposed to be an author?

“Perhaps I’m just supposed to be a literary personality or socialite,” I thought.  Perhaps someone like a Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton of the Literary Industry.  Not necessarily having the skill or talent, but just as popular and paid as the accomplished and skilled actors, musicians and other entertainers….

But God…

Swag was released over a year ago, yet just this past week, out of nowhere,  I began hearing from readers whose opinions I really respect, about how much they enjoyed Swag and how they cannot wait for the next installment (“Intrigue”).  They didn’t know what I was going through.  They didn’t know that I had begun to doubt if this was really what I was supposed to be doing.  They didn’t know that their honest opinions came right on time…at a time when I needed them most...  

So to all of my readers:  I really appreciate you.  Thank you for being the conduit for my confirmations.