Monday, October 13, 2014

Boundaries


Space can be a beautiful thing.

 
I'm sitting here in a small room in Louisville. I am alone so I am forced to face myself. I have been thinking and praying and reading and writing. It has only been a week, but I have already begun to process through so many feelings and emotions that I could once easily ignore with all of the distractions at home.
 
Tonight I am studying boundaries. I have come to the realization that giving too much has burned me out. So I am trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries again. The timing is just right because I am in a major period of transition. My relationships are changing, responsibilities are ending, and I am challenging myself to more intentionally focus on me.  Someone that has recently become near and dear to me brought to my attention that I often help others at the expense of myself, and it shows. Having someone that is willing to tell you the truth with love is priceless.

So in my reading tonight I came across a passage that was just confirmation of something that I heard in a totally unrelated podcast that I listened to while walking by the water this past summer. It read,
 
"Sometimes physically removing yourself from a situation will help maintain boundaries. You can replenish physically, emotionally, and spiritually after you have given to your limit, as Jesus often did." 
 
Day by day, the longer I am here...I feel that happening slowly but surely. Later in the text I read,

"The Bible urges us to separate from those who continue to hurt us and to create a safe space for ourselves. Removing yourself from the situation will also cause the one who is left behind to experience a loss of fellowship that may lead to changed behavior."
 
Wow.
 
There are so many thing that I've held inside of me, that are still patiently waiting to be processed through my writing. Things that I've held on to since 2008. So now, slowly but surely, I will pour it onto the page.
 
Welcome to my inner world.
 
Most Sincerely
 
Just Me...Monica Marie 
 




Monday, August 11, 2014

Beautiful Minds

Beautiful Minds...
...Much like jazz... they have no rhythm or no rhyme

Unexpected improv patterns
Impromptu peaks, plateaus and valleys

I even dig the darkest places
Like cognac and live blues in sexy night spot spaces

Tucked into a cozy booth
Where shadows hide your inner truth

Thoughts come in waves of depth and intensity
Much like the soul stirring bass of R&B

And ideas come and go in droves
Few settle in to make themselves at home

Yeah, your mind is like sweet music
And I love the way you use it

Not of sound mind some might say
But I love all of the sounds you play

An infinitely intelligent instrument
Playing wisdom and words and wondrous whit

I see you...
And I get you
Unlike most mere mortals do

I hear you... mentally
No need to explain verbally

Beautiful... dangerously
Exuding and executing creative mastery

I'm so attracted to your mind that I can't get you out of mine...

Perhaps because your mind is a reflection of my own
And seeing how you think let's me know I'm not alone.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Runaway Bride

So...I could be married by now...If I wanted to be...but I can't help but wonder if the hold up is me...

"I would be patient, kind, faithful and true...to a man who loves music, a man who loves art, respects the spirit world, and thinks with his heart..."

I heard these India Arie lyrics today (from her song, I am Ready for Love) and I thought, "Yeah, that's all I need to make me want to settle down..." But is that REALLY my truth?

Well, the truth is that if I TRULY wanted to be married by now...I could be... My last two official boyfriends (I had a few complicated situations in between) had rings on the lay away...but I left both of them...because I messed up. See, we always think that it's the man who is the "dog" and the woman who is the victim...but that's not always the case. Am I a runaway bride? I just run before the engagement or proposal actually happens...

People, men in particular, always ask me, "WHY are you still single?" or, "WHY aren't YOU married?"  My answer always USED to be, "Because boys are stupid!" LOL. But after a few conversations from some of my male friends that are in relationships, my answer has recently shifted to... "Because boys are stupid, and the good ones are with stupid women!"

You see, it seems as if, when we have something good, we take it for granted. It seems to be very difficult for us all to cherish a good thing when we have it. Why is that?

I was listening/watching the On the Go with Tiffany Patton radio show today on Urban Nation Radio. Her guest, Author Linda Dominique Grosvenor-Holland, said a couple of things that resonated with me...

"There is someone that is designed to plug into your purpose in life."  That's what she had to say about soul mates. Do you believe in soul mates?

She also said, "BE what you desire in a mate."

SIGH.

So now, as of the month of August, I have just been focusing on loving me as hard as I love on everyone else, especially those that I am in a relationship...or situationship with...

Everyone says that loving yourself first, and best, is the key to a healthy and lasting relationship...so I guess I should finally, TRULY give that a try huh? So, that's why I have dubbed August, my #SummerLoveTour...the month where I focus on me and everything that I love, and loving on me as hard as I love on everyone else. Believe it or not, it's easier said than done...but I'm giving it my best try. :)

So we shall see how it all pans out.

In the meantime I'm having a whole lot of fun surrounding myself with people and things that intrigue me...and it feel SO good. I am on a natural high every day.

Perhaps soon, I will find the love of my live, but in the meantime, that love is ME. :)

The POWER of Relationships in Business, LOVE and Life - Motivation Monda...


Thursday, August 7, 2014

Orbits

We DEFINITELY have a connection
I want him.
Perhaps a one on one
Totally innocent...
Just smoke and drink and listen to music...
...and talk
And let that energy between me and he
Swirl and twirl and dance and intertwine
And just savor it and simmer in the sexual tension...
...and and leave it at that...
Because he has a girl and Lord knows I don't need ANOTHER complicated situation. ..
But he...intrigues me...
I want to kiss him...
Right now I could be WITH him...
I'm feeling insatiable at the moment
So I'll just close my eyes and fantasize
What life might be like if he were all mine

Midweek Motivation - "Poetry in Motion" Featuring Poetic