Rejection Reloaded

"I'm and artist and I'm sensitive about my - - - -"  - Erykah Badu

I’m pretty darn confident.   But every now and then I get a pretty hard blow that darn near knocks me off my little personal pedestal.  This past summer I made the decision to pitch my latest self-published novel, “Swag” to a few major publishers.  I really believed in the work and felt that I had grown quite a bit as a writer since the last book that I released (“Floss”).  

The first correspondence that I got from one of the publishers was favorable.  They were interested in my work and requested for me to send the entire manuscript.  That felt good.  Then, two of the other publishers sent me rejection letters within a week of one another.  The first one was cool, because they said my book wasn’t a fit for what they were looking for and they sent some amazing resources to help me improve my writing skills.  The last one that I received said that my writing wasn’t strong enough.  That stung.  

I love and welcome honest feedback, whether it’s good or bad, but that made me start to wonder, is writing books, really what I am supposed to be doing?  It made me second guess myself, which I don’t do often.  I mean, I absolutely love all things that have anything to do with reading, books and words, but does that mean that I am supposed to be an author?

“Perhaps I’m just supposed to be a literary personality or socialite,” I thought.  Perhaps someone like a Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton of the Literary Industry.  Not necessarily having the skill or talent, but just as popular and paid as the accomplished and skilled actors, musicians and other entertainers….

But God…

Swag was released over a year ago, yet just this past week, out of nowhere,  I began hearing from readers whose opinions I really respect, about how much they enjoyed Swag and how they cannot wait for the next installment (“Intrigue”).  They didn’t know what I was going through.  They didn’t know that I had begun to doubt if this was really what I was supposed to be doing.  They didn’t know that their honest opinions came right on time…at a time when I needed them most...  

So to all of my readers:  I really appreciate you.  Thank you for being the conduit for my confirmations.

"INTRIGUE" a novel by Monica Marie Jones

Intrigue by Monica Marie Jones (The Third Installment of the Floss Series)M

Dionysus Staves has turned her life around. Once a heartless vixen that used men to get what she wanted, she’s now a well-known and successful entrepreneur in the entertainment industry. Just when she finally feels that she has control of her future, Abel Harrington unexpectedly re-enters her life.  He too has made some major changes, the most shocking change being his transformation from a man that played just as hard as, if not more than, he worked to a pastor.

Both Dionysus and Abel have a presence about them—the looks, the personality, and the status—that is so powerful all they have to do is enter a room and everyone is instantly drawn to them in some way.  Once their paths cross again after years of no contact, it is only natural that they are drawn to one another.

Now that Abel has answered his calling and Dionysus has left her sordid past behind to become a successful business owner, how will this magnetic and addictive aura that they emit affect their career paths and their relationship?

Will Dionysus be able to let go of her feelings of inadequacy based on her indiscretions of the past and be open to the idea that she does deserve good things?  Will Abel be able to ward off all of the forward advances from the women of the church and the pressure to find a virtuous woman to take as his wife?

Can Abel and Dionysus put aside the pain of the past and the pressures of the present in order to take a chance on love?

    

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Dreams

Recently I treated myself to my very first bed that was truly my own.  Over the years I've had hand-me-down beds, or bad situations where I ended up with nothing but the frame.  So naturally my new brown leather sleigh bed with a custom made mattress was a huge deal for me.  Ever since I've been sleeping in the bed I've been having very vivid dreams.  In the past, I never dreamed much and when I did I never remembered anything about them.

One dream in particular stood out to me.  It was a dream where I met who I believe to be my future daughter.  This dream was major for me for several reasons.  First because I am 31 years old and I have never been pregnant.  This has been a very intentional choice because I have always had a vision for how I wanted my life to be and I had no intention of straying from that until I'd achieved a certain set of goals and married my future husband. 

As I began to approach the age of 30, a fearful thought began to creep into my psyche. What if I can't have children?  I love children and would love to have a family someday so it goes without saying that the mere idea of me not being able to conceive was devastating.  So when I had this dream I was overcome with a sense of peace and hope.

In the dream she was maybe 8 or so months old and we called her MeMe because she looked just like me.  The only difference was her hair was much more shiny and curly than my own. I wonder who her father is going to be?  Will she be as crazy as me?  Will she be sassy with me at the age of thirteen like I was with my Mom?  Will I have to build a fence around the house to keep the boys away? I did a little research on the subject and found that several people have dreamed about their children before they were born. 

MeMe was beautiful and I am excited about meeting her some day.  I just wanted to put it out here so when she comes, I can look back and see that perhaps dreams really do come true :)