I love LOVE...but I must admit...that I fight it. As I look back over all of my relationships, I realize, that I'm the one that starts acting funny. I say what I want, then when I get it...it's still not enough. Perhaps the problem is that I am looking for my joy and my peace and my passion in my relationships...
Relationships are great to supplement those things, but true joy and peace and passion can really only come from self...from within. I know this...preach this...so why in the WORLD don't I practice this.
The first time I truly fell in love...I learned that love was not enough. So then I found someone who had the other end of the spectrum...the logistical side...but that's not all peaches and cream either. Does a balance exist? Or does the answer lie in me? Do I give up too soon? Could I with patience, dedication and hard work, could I make either situation end up as a success story?
Or does Prince Charming really exist? Could I find a man that has a perfect balance of loving me to pieces...a man that I am enough for...a man in whom I evoke such undying love and admiration for me that he loses all desire for any other woman...a man who is a strong and responsible leader...who adds value to my life...teaches me...and makes me better...
Is that all a fairy tale...or is it possible?
There have been amazing things about all of the men that I've had serious relationships...things that other women only wish they had... so it makes me wonder if I'm unhappy...or ungrateful...or if it has anything to do with them at all...perhaps the problem and the answer lies in me.
I feel like with enough time and research...I can figure anything out...except for love. Love is the only thing that still baffles me...consistently.
Is it only me?
I'd love to hear from someone that feels that they have it figured out.